this is a love letter.

i don't know what dragged me back home, but it's five am again and every basement is the same.

i want to break my lease after this semester because i'm not sure i want to talk to a lot of these people anymore as long as i live. not that anything happened while i was away, i don't think, but i just think i might not want to anymore.

on the plus, was listening to rainer maria live album in the fog through the blue ridge mountains; was sleeping on the floor of a converted warehouse (turned gallery, coffeeshop/bar, venue, living space, roofgarden) with three other touring bands from all over the country; was delicious brunch two days in a row; was eating grits and talking about killdozer for hours.

otherwise, on the nonplus, was feeling disconnected; was not feeling like i had a home to come back to; was the virginia anarchist gathering; was etc etc all the things that are the same everywhere that make coming home even harder that make it not even seem worth it to bother trying here anymore; was being disillusioned; was realizing that i will literally never have another boyfriend in my entire life; was that my life didn't firework into something brilliant and beautiful and positive over the last three days.